A HOME!!!

WE HAVE A HOME!!!!!!!

After weeks of searching and feeling lost and confused, we have FOUND A HOME!

YAY CARL!

Our new residence is right on Center and Main in Springville. It's a great and spacious 3-bedroom, with free heat and water and parking, and holy cow. We are so blessed. It's going to be fantastic. And hey, we'll have two extra bedrooms. Awesome opossums.

In other news, I took my 4 finals today (one left for tomorrow, which I'm mostly determined to not bother with). It was super stressful, and I'm SO glad they're over. I took Land Use Planning/Urban Design, then Beginning Soils/Soil Chemistry, then Ecology, and then Grammar of the English Language. And then we went house shopping and I started applying for the TESOL program here at BYU.

Oh boy.

So anyway, funtimes.

LOVE!

interesting...

Taken from The "Silent Majority No More."

Which party is more corrupt? Maybe you’ve seen lists. The National Taxpayer’s Union has a pretty good list http://www.ntu.org/main/press.php?PressID=343.

The NTU’s gripe, though, is not which party is more corrupt, but that Congressmen who are convicted felons continue to collect their very generous congressional pensions.
The NTU’s list is of “Members of Congress Who Were Convicted of or Pled Guilty to Major Offenses, 1992-1999.” NTU staffers had to compile the list from Washington Post archives and Congressional Quarterly Yearly Almanacs. (It takes real work to compile an apples-to-apples, fair list.) Here is that list:

* Nick Mavroules (D-MA). Tax evasion, accepting illegal gratuity, 1992.
* Albert Bustamante (D-TX). Racketeering, 1993.
* Carroll Hubbard (D-KY). Fraud and corruption, 1994.
* Carl Perkins (D-KY). Fraud, 1994.
* Charlie Rose (D-NC). Agreed to pay fine for financial disclosure irregularities, 1994.
* Larry Smith (D-FL). Tax evasion, 1994.
* Dave Durenberger (R-MN). Financial disclosure misdemeanor, 1995.
* Walter Fauntroy (D-DC Delegate). Financial disclosure misdemeanor, 1995.
* Gerald Kleczka (D-WI). Convicted of DWI, 1987. Arrested for DWI, 1990 and 1995.
* Mel Reynolds (D-IL). Sexual misconduct, 1995.
* Walter Tucker (D-CA). Extortion, 1995.
* Charles Wilson (D-TX). Agreed to pay fine to Federal Election Commission, 1995.
* Joe Kolter (D-PA). Fraud and conspiracy, 1996.
* Dan Rostenkowski (D-IL). Mail fraud, 1996.
* Wes Cooley (R-OR). Lying about war record in official voter pamphlet, 1997.
* Jay Kim (R-CA). Campaign finance violations, 1998.
* Mary Rose Oakar (D-OH). Financial disclosure irregularities, 1998.
* Austin J. Murphy (D-PA). Voter fraud, 1999.

By my count: 15 Democrats, 3 Republicans. Since then, we can add James Traficant (D-OH) and Randall Cunningham (R-CA). Call the score 16 to 4, Democrats leading.

That would make Democrats 4 times (or 300%) more corrupt than Republicans.

If you have a better list, contact (randall.hoven@gmail.com). But please, make sure the list is apples-to-apples.The NTU’s list, for example, is only among US Congressmen and only for convictions of or guilty pleas to major offenses.

how BYU are you?

I stole it from Chilleh.

How BYU are you?

77 questions.

[X] You have been kissed at lease once
[_] Your first kiss was on campus
[X] You've had a boyfriend/girlfriend
[x] You lived in the dorms your freshman year
[x] You went to Homecoming or Preference
[x] You hiked the Y
[_] You've taken a social dance class
[x] You regularly attended FHE for at least a semester (I was the FHE mom, I had to)
[x] You've participated in Choose to Give
[_] You've been to Liberty Square for a party at least once
[x] You've driven around south of campus for at least 20 minutes trying to find a parking spot
[_] You know the cougar fight song
[x] You've crossed the crosswalk without using the flags or biked through a red light
[x] You've been to Friday Night Live
[_] You've performed or witnessed an act that made it onto Police Beat
[_] You've been on a "date" to the bell tower or duck pond
[x] You've been to the Bean Museum for FHE
[X] You've been to Divine Comedy
[x] You've been to International Cinema
[x] You are engaged
[_] You are married
[_] ...in the temple
[_] You were previously engaged/married
[_] You have kids or are expecting kids
[X] Your birth parents are still married (trick question there, I'm counting it)
[X] ...in the temple
[x] You have at least three siblings
[_] You've taken a marriage prep or relations class
[x] You've taken at least one religion class that is not based on the scriptures
[X] You have slept on a couch in a restroom
[X] You have been to the BYU Creamery
[_] You have been in one of the BYU choirs
[_] You've been on a date to Fat Cats
[X] You have read Twilight
[X] ...book 2
[x] ...book 3
[x] ...book 4
[x] ...seen the movie
[x] ...more than once
[_] You've waited in line at the Bookstore for the Harry Potter or Twilight book premiere
[X] You have seen The Singles Ward or Sons of Provo
[_] You have walked out of a movie you found morally reprehensible
[X] You know where the "chastity line" is
[X] You can finish the phrase "Nothing good happens after ______"
[_] You read the Daily Universe at least 3x a week
[_] ...and it's the only newspaper you read
[x] You've personally known someone who was reported to the Honor Code Office
[_] You've participated in or watched a Mr. BYU contest
[X] You've received personal revelation that he/she is "the one" (or been told this)
[X] ...and told him/her about your revelation (or been told this)
[_] ...and then they rejected you (or rejected them)
[_] You've been to the Nickelcade
[_] You've been to Classic Skating
[X] You've ignored your parents' phone calls for at least 3 days
[_] ...and then they called the University Police
[X] You've been pulled over by the University Police
[x] You watch The Office religiously
[x] You mostly wear jeans and t-shirts or plain fitted shirts
[_] You own at least 3 things from American Eagle or Hollister
[_] Your sacrament meeting is a fashion show/scam session
[_] You've been on a date to the Provo River

You've kissed in a...
[X] ...campus parking lot
[_] ...Provo Canyon or Squaw Peak
[_] ...on temple grounds
[X] ...on a couch as soon as your roommates left the room
[X] You think UVU is not a real university
[_] You hate U of U with a passion

FOR GIRLS (don't answer if you're a guy)
[_] You own knee-length shorts
[X] You regularly wear camisoles/undershirts for modesty reasons
[_] You are a MFHD, RMYL, Elementary Education, or Exercise Science Major
[_] Your major crush ended up dating a MFHD, RMYL, Elementary Education, or Exercise Science major
[x] You have had at least one roommate who is in hair or dental school
[_] You own The Italian Job or The Princess Bride
[X] You wear makeup at least 3x a week
[x] You do something with your hair (other than brush it/ponytail) at least 3x a week
[_] You went or plan on going on a mission
[_] ...because you couldn't get married


FOR GUYS (don't answer if you're a girl)
[_] You shave every (or almost every) morning
[_] You know when your hair is "too long"
[_] You know what the "divide by 2 and add 7" dating rule is
[_] ...and you follow it
[_] You've dated freshmen girls as a RM
[_] ...when you already knew better
[_] You've used the phrase "On my mission..." to a girl
[_] At least 3 girls have baked cookies or meals for you
[_] You went or plan on going on a mission
[_] ...because you wanted to get married

TOTAL:

A: 68-77
B: 60-67
C: 53-66
D: 45-52
F: 44 or below

Just barely got a 44. Oh well.

bridal shower! woo!!1

So, just finished my bridal shower. It went from 7:30 to about 11:30, mostly because of gabbing. You know.

We played a game where I had to guess the answers to a whole bunch of questions about Carl, which Carl had answered. Some of them I thought were a little lame, such as the one that asked for 3 things that made him happy, and The Blazers didn't count. Lame-o. Because obviously besides me and writing, the Blazers... yeah. Oh well. I ended up mostly winning. Ones I got wrong: his favorite poem, his favorite author, and who he wants to be like in his career, or whatever.

A good one was when they asked if he wanted a pet, and if so, what kind. My answer was that he didn't really want a pet but that he would let me have a cat. They let me have it even though the answer didn't say he would let me have a cat.

So, we opened presents. My aunt L gave me a toaster oven and honey, inspired by how much toast I eat. It's hard because her daughter is Celiac, and so I'm afraid to eat anything lest it is made with some obscure kind of flour or whatever. So I just eat toast with honey, all the time. So that was nice.

My uncle Bob sent me all the tumblers we registered for, and my aunt A gave me almost every bamboo thing I asked for (no cutting boards). My friends L2 and B gave me a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond; N gave me some fun massage oils (!!! I have always wanted these!). M gave me handmade ceramic cereal bowls, and C gave me a bunch of cookie cutters (YAY!!! sweet cookie action!!!). My grandma got this giant wok, which looks super fantastic. And then, some of my married friends gave me... other things. :^P

Can I just say, pulling out progressively smaller lingerie from an "It's a Girl!" baby gift bag with your grandmother watching is an experience no true woman should go without.

So, yeah. Funtimes. I mostly had to write this down just so I could remember. It was a good time.

new job, w00t w00t

So, my life at the EPA has gotten me somewhere! I was just accepted to help run the Utah Recycling Coalition, along with one of my best friends. I'm really excited to do everything I can to help the cause.

I guess I should explain some stuff, because I'm kind of an anomaly and I know it. Yes, I have been the chairman of the BYU College Republicans, yes, I have started conservative newspapers and written conservative articles for political reviews, and yes, I am an Environmental Science major. I'm also one of the few in my major who bothers to wear shoes. :^D

You know, I've read the studies and I've thought about it a lot. I don't believe in global warming, I believe it is a hype created by fascists who realize that war is no longer enough of a motivator to hold the American people together. I believe environmental scares are being used intentionally to take away American rights.

At the same time, I know that for a fact, a whole lot of things we do are not sustainable. For example, a personal issue is landfills. I hate them. Hence the strange recycling obsession. But it's not about global warming for me: it's about that paper in landfills compresses, and buildings on top of them collapse and kill everyone inside. It's about the methane gas that's released from landfills which hurts the innocent people around. It's about the fact that newspapers from a hundred years ago put in a landfill can still be read today if you dig them up. This is what we need to do: recycle our papers, plastics, metals, and glass, and for the rest, we should be introducing microbes to the landfill sites to break down the OM and returning it to the soil.

Amen.

Also, I firmly believe that there are way not enough conservatives out there who understand the mechanisms of the natural world--and there are certainly almost no politicians who understand the earth. In my ideal world, I would be one to set people straight as far as environmental policy. It's hard, because even at the most conservative university in the US, the eSci program is 98% flaming lib, but I know it's worth it, because I know I care. And the world needs more informed people who care.

So, that's my deal. I am head over heels excited to be up with the Utah Recycling Coalition. Maybe I'm crazy, but there we go.

insomnia moments

Last night, I was up tossing and turning from 11 pm to basically 4, and then I woke up at 5, 6, 6:20, 6:40, 7, 7:20, and 7:40. Yeah, lame.

Tonight I was asleep by 10 pm, but now it's just barely 1 am and I feel like it's impossible to go back to sleep. I don't even know what to do with myself. Gah. Anyone got an Ambien lying around????

stress

Hey everyone, happy Stress Week!

Things have been intense lately, hence the lack of bloggage. Suffice it to say, school + finals + projects + presentations + work + wedding prep = not a recipe for chillin.

But aw, I came out to my car yesterday to find that Carl had left me roses in the front seat from when he'd borrowed my car earlier. What a sweetheart. And even though this week is set to be a little torturous, well, hey: it's just a week. Then ten days at home, then Carl comes to MD for a few days, and then we're married. Happy day.

Anyway...

slowly and surely....

getting there...


SOILS 282:
-answer all remaining hw questions
-study for final!

LAND USE PLANNING:
-study for final!

ECOLOGY:
-finish paper, turn in
-learn everything from the past 2 months from the ppt presentations because I only do crosswords in there
-Study for final!

GRAMMAR:
-learn everything I have no idea about yet
-practice sentences like a fiend

SOIL CONSERVATION:
-study madly for the final

WEDDING STUFF:
-order marriage license
-get temple recommend signed by stake president
-bridal shower

future long post!

Hey guys! At some point, a post has to happen in like 12 million parts. I have about 12 million things to say, including items about my bridals, a weird dream I had about Michelle Obama, Thanksgiving, and some other things. But today I don't have the time.

Here is what I need to do before finals:

SOILS 282:
-answer all remaining hw questions
-evaluate the course
-turn in hw
-study for final!

LAND USE PLANNING:
-study for final!

ECOLOGY:
-finish paper, turn in
-learn everything from the past 2 months from the ppt presentations because I only do crosswords in there
-Study for final!

GRAMMAR:
-learn everything I have no idea about yet
-practice sentences like a fiend
-turn in hw sheet
-turn in Like sheet
-present on Harry Potter v. Twilight. Funtimes

SEMINAR:
-Done! Hooray!!

SOIL CONSERVATION:
-argue that I shouldn't be graded on homework... cuz I haven't done any
-study madly for the final
-finish up our soil key

WEDDING STUFF:
-order marriage license
-get temple recommend signed by stake president
-bridal shower

Oh boy.

If I can just make it until the 17th. Then I will fly away to Maryland and be fine. 17th. That's like 2 more weeks. I can do it. Seriously.

The surge worked

This is what victory looks like

Victory in Iraq Day

As zombietime has put it:

Victory in Iraq

On this November 22, 2008, join us in observing Victory in Iraq Day.

Let us honor the sacrifice, dedication and sheer determination of American, coalition and Iraqi troops who have brought freedom to the nation and people of Iraq.

Although our governments have chosen to not name any official day marking the end of this war, we the people have taken it upon ourselves to commemorate November 22, 2008 as the day of victory over the forces of tyranny, oppression and terror in Iraq.

Join fellow bloggers and other members of the public in this virtual ticker-tape parade for our brave troops, to celebrate their success, to remember the fallen, and to declare, in the words of President John F. Kennedy (RIP):

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty."

And as John Galt put it:

"Blogger Zombie has taken upon itself to do what our current President should have done.

Declare Victory.

We have enforced the UN mandate. We have deposed, tried, and executed Saddam Hussein and brought justice to his henchman. We ended Iraq’s chemical and biological weapons programs. We have exposed the mass graves. We have made it possible for a representative government to form. We have made possible free and fair elections. We have trained new Iraqi security forces. We have sent untold terrorists to their virgins. Stores are open, girls are learning, there is a future.

War’s over. We, the supporters of liberty, won, and so did the Iraqi people. Our troops have done the impossible.

Does that mean Iraq is a perfect example of parliamentary democracy? Of course not. Name a war that we won where the immediate postwar situation was all smiles and sunshine. Iraq has a long way to go, but it now has a fighting chance to get there.

In a sane world, President Bush would be organizing tickertape parades, days of thanksgiving, etc. He won’t. Mr. Obama certainly won’t.

We need to do it for them."

consequences

So this morning I woke up thinking about the two biggest RINOs I can think of: W, and McCain. Those guys are so lame. But anyway.

And I was thinking about how both of them entered into their presidential careers (or lack of careers) thinking that all their friendships with liberals would hold up. Both of them had spent so much time catering to the Left, they figured that the news media would celebrate them, and that their good Dem friends would still like them.

And to be fair, the news media did like them. The New York Times endorsed John McCain officially before he became the GOP candidate. And why? Because McCain is a leftist RINO.

But the fact is, the NYT, news media, and leftist friends all turned against McCain and W as soon as they became candidates. And obviously, no true conservative would ever support the two of them, on account of that neither of them are in any way right-wing. Well, W became that way--but McCain has always been that way. And the second he stepped into potential power, the Left reacted. And he had to kiss his friendships goodbye.

Of course, he was retarded, and tried to be the nice guy to his friends. And what did they do? Tear him apart until it was too late. I wish he hadn't spoken out against that GOP attack ad in Carolina. McCain is such a dolt.

But what led me to all that was thinking about my friends. I have so many friends with whom I disagree on almost everything--but I still love them. Most of my friends back home are lesbian atheists at this point, and you know I would die for them. I love them. But if I speak out for Prop 8, or whatever conservative thing I'm doing, they go crazy. And it kills me because, you know, I think they're all insane too, but I don't get in their faces about it. We're friends, you know?

And then it gets really ridiculous. Like my friends thinking I'm racist for having a reference to Jonestown. (Trivia: yesterday was the 30th anniversary of Jonestown). I mean, seriously? Just because they're too lame and uncultured to understand that reference. That reference is part of our culture! Jonestown changed so much in America, how can they justify not knowing about it! And then for them to feel justified in accusing me wrongfully... I hate stupidity. Wow. People need to read more.

Or, just recently on Facebook I posted my blogpost on "informed" Obama voters. One of my beloved friends got all wack about that too. She went on about how all voters are uninformed and it wasn't fair of me, etc. But the fact is: it's true we were all uninformed. But if everyone had known that Obama is friends with terrorists, that his runningmate was a plagiarist, that Democrats have been running Congress during the economy tank, don't you think things would be different?

Or what about how, in that interview, they asked the "informed" Obama voters about the 57-state thing? Or getting all their opponents disqualified? And all the voters assumed it was Sarah Palin because they'd only heard stupid things about Palin and had never heard the truth about Obama? That, to me, screams media bias.

And my friend got mad at me for pointing it out.

Look. I'm not a meanie. I'm vocal about my opinions and beliefs, but my opinions are always, always, always, always researched and if I'm willing to talk about something it's because I know I'm qualified to, having read about it from numerous sources. And yet my stupid friends are here trying to tear me apart, when they haven't even done any research. Can you say lame?

I guess the point of this post is, when you're a nice person and you have conservative opinions, perhaps it really is too much to hope for that your uninformed friends will still tolerate you, even if you love them. And what can you really do, but sulk about it and move on.

I guess when you have opinions, some people will ostracize you no matter what, even if you care about them despite their opinions. But what can you do?

OMGZ

This video made my soul cringe. Please watch it to the end. It's amazing. Wow.



There's a documentary with this in it coming out sometime soon. I so need to see it. This is so screwed up.

Op, and update:

Zogby Poll

512 Obama Voters 11/13/08-11/15/08 MOE +/- 4.4 points

97.1% High School Graduate or higher, 55% College Graduates

Results to 12 simple Multiple Choice Questions

57.4% could NOT correctly say which party controls congress (50/50 shot just by guessing)

81.8% could NOT correctly say Joe Biden quit a previous campaign because of plagiarism (25% chance by guessing)

82.6% could NOT correctly say that Barack Obama won his first election by getting opponents kicked off the ballot (25% chance by guessing)

88.4% could NOT correctly say that Obama said his policies would likely bankrupt the coal industry and make energy rates skyrocket (25% chance by guessing)

56.1% could NOT correctly say Obama started his political career at the home of two former members of the Weather Underground (25% chance by guessing).

And yet.....

Only 13.7% failed to identify Sarah Palin as the person on which their party spent $150,000 in clothes

Only 6.2% failed to identify Palin as the one with a pregnant teenage daughter

And 86.9 % thought that Palin said that she could see Russia from her "house," even though that was Tina Fey who said that!!

Only 2.4% got at least 11 correct.

Only .5% got all of them correct. (And we "gave" one answer that was technically not Palin, but actually Tina Fey)

high school

Stolen from Alishka!!


1. DID YOU DATE SOMEONE FROM YOUR SCHOOL? nope.

2. WHAT KIND OF CAR DID YOU DRIVE? I had no car! sad day :^(

3. DID YOU PASS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE TEST YOUR FIRST TRY? yep, thank goodness--my parallel parking left much to be desired

4. WHERE YOU A PARTY ANIMAL? obviously :^P ... just kidding. I think I went to one party during my entire high school career

5. WERE YOU CONSIDERED A FLIRT? nope, I was pretty reserved

6. WERE YOU IN BAND, ORCHESTRA, OR CHOIR? Choir--I was sort of the unofficial section leader of the Chambers altos, all four of us

7. WERE YOU A NERD? absolutely

8. WERE YOU ON ANY VARSITY TEAMS? does Chambers count?

9. DID YOU EVER GET SUSPENDED/EXPELLED? nope, i was too good :o)

10. CAN YOU STILL SING THE FIGHT SONG? never learned it

11. WHO WERE YOUR FAVORITE TEACHERS? Mrs. Salatto, Mrs. Itkin, Mr. Rattan, Mr. Safford

12. WHERE DID YOU SIT FOR LUNCH? the band or choir room

13. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S FULL NAME? Watkins Mill High School... aka The Mill

14. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S MASCOT AND COLORS? we were the Watkins Mill Wolverines. The colors were orange and blue

15. DID YOU GO TO HOMECOMING AND WITH WHO? Nope. I went to prom with a good friend.

16. IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN WOULD YOU? Oh heavens. I hated high school.

17. WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT GRADUATION? I was the 560th person of 588 and it was so lame. We had it in the Daughters of the American Revolution Hall, right by the White House, and there were a zillion people in there. My high school vice principal cried when I graduated--like, she hunted me down afterwards and as she was congratulating me she cried and thanked me for being the only student that ever said hi or smiled at her in the mornings. It was sad. Hmm. And I think I sang something, like A Moment Like This or... the famous one from Wicked. It was the Wicked song, actually. My robe was white, which was a little lame because you could see the clothes underneath it. Even though people were supposed to not clap until the end, a bunch of really obnoxious families from East Village brought horns and clapper things and would scream when their homies crossed the stage. Ghetto? Uh, yah.

18. WHERE DID YOU GO SENIOR SKIP DAY? My senior semester, every other week had a senior skip day :o) Not officially of course, just in my head :o) You know, the nice thing about being the nice girl is that people just trust you. Everytime I got sick of class, I would just walk out of school and say hi to all the security guards. They would just let me go. And weird: when I went back to visit the Mill in April, one of the security guards called me by name and asked me how I was. I had no idea the security guards knew me that well.

Apparently we were like bffs or something.

19. WERE YOU IN ANY CLUBS? nope, but I did do Chambers and Drama

20. HAVE YOU GAINED SOME WEIGHT SINCE THEN? no!! yay!! I am now skinner than I was in high school!

21. WHO WAS YOUR PROM DATE? Josh D. He was a cutie and we're still friends. :o)

22. ARE YOU PLANNING ON GOING TO YOUR 10 YEAR REUNION? I think it would be super fun, but hard because I took half my classes and graduated with the year ahead of me--I was supposed to be class of '06, but I am class of '05, so that makes it harder. Maybe I'll go to two 10-year reunions! Mostly I would just want to go if I were famous by then

23. DID YOU HAVE A JOB IN HIGH SCHOOL? babysat handicapped kids for free

x.x;;

Can't find my laptop charger. So you might not hear from me for a while.

Suck that they cost like $100.

x.x;;

because David tagged me

David tagged me, and I love him, so here goes.


1. I am merely inches away from having Marilyn Monroe's dimensions. Woot. Currently at 37-27-37. She was at 36-24-34. Kind of, I am curvier than her. I am probably inordinately happy about that.

2. I really enjoy soil science. I'm writing this entry from the soils lab. To my left is a text on the interpretation of soil color, and to my right is an industrial laboratory ehrlenmeyer flask set and a syringe machine hooked up to some H2SO4 and some HCL. Yes, that makes me feel cool, LoL.

3. I like writing music. I started writing a new song just the other day, about rain.

4. My new boots only come up to my mid-calf (they're supposed to only be that high), and I'm getting giant blisters on my calves from it. Who knew you could get giant blisters on your calves??

5. The seventh letter of my middle name is E.

6. I'm getting married in 48 days!

7. Sometimes I really just want to drop out of school and get a real job.

TAG:
Carl
Chilly
Kismet Keeper
Alishka

And anyone else who wants to. :o)

i already blogged today, but....

SO CUTE!!! I'm a leader in Nursery, and oh my goodness, I have the cutest little kids ever!! I made friends with a whole bunch today. I've been in there for a month, and they've finally started really getting attached. It's totally cute.

C was running his trucks into little L's face, since L was asleep on the floor. So I had to reprimand C (who's never been very nice anyway), and then L wanted to go to sleep on my lap. During singing time, I had L and G and T on my lap, and then C was running around trying to get on my lap too (sorry, my lap isn't that big), and it was so cute.

But here is the best part: when I left the room to get their snack, they all wanted to know where the Curly Hair Girl went.

Aw!! Yay! They don't know my name, but they know my hair and they care where I go. I have the best calling ever.

my favorite song

Here is an old favorite song from high school, performed by one of my fave all-female a cappella groups, the Loreleis:

family!

Yay family! My mom and nana and brother came out to visit me! They're all still here, too. Sammy has been having a rocking time, coming with me to all my classes. He concluded that classes taught by women are more interesting than classes taught by men. I was sad that he liked Grammar more than he liked Soils. Obviously soils is totally fun.

And with so many family members out and about this week, Carl and I have gotten to eat at Red Lobster twice! Yay! I have so many leftovers in my fridge. It is amazingly fantastic.

Well, the day count is down to sixty--only one month and thirty days until Carl and I are married faces (weird! weird!!). And I got permission to take 19 credits next semester, so I'll be graduating after all, no matter what Daddy thinks. Hooray. I'll be taking:

Persuasive Writing (3)
World Humanities from the beginning of time to the 1500's (it has a different name, actually) (3)
Intro to Organic Chemistry (2)
Doctrine and Covenants second half (2)
Soils and Water Conservation (3)
Logic and Deductive Reasoning (3)
Pesticides and Plants (3)

Is this not a quite exciting schedule? 19 credits, but the D&C course will be online, so I can finish that up during the first week of classes. Yay.

Anyway. Life is good. Stressful. Trying to make everything work. Oh boy.

LOVE!

how i know

I am totally marrying the right guy.

This morning, he showed up on my doorstep with a red carnation--one of my favorite flowers! For no other reason besides that it was Saturday.

Then he stood around through two family functions--a football game of my little cousin (who doesn't really get football, he just skips around the field merrily), and a halloween party for my other little cousins.

Then he took me to Glenn Beck. We had seats in hte second row.

I ask: is this not true love?

Plus, I believe I found my wedding dress today. After several hours of trying things on, I found one that took my breath away. And not because it was too tight. We put a veil in--it was the first one I wore with a veil--and it was amazing. I started crying and so did Abigail (or so she claims).

I looked like a bride.

Guys, it was SO BIZARRE!!!

I'm getting married. Weird, weird, weird.

whoaaa

SO TIRED! Got in last night late and then had to do tons of stuff, ended up staying up til almost 1 am. And now it's 5 am, and I have work, but secretly I think that after work I might just go home and sleep. Doesn't that sound lovely?

w00t midterms papers and stress!

Life is intense! I've picked up another shift for this semester, T 2:30-5:30. So come visit me at Subway and I'll make you a sandwich, yo.

Stayed up really late, got up really early, and here are midterms and my wedding to plan, and papers, and everything else. Alishka, I'm still ruminating about your music, fear not! And I'll be fixing up these demos soon so you have something concrete to work with for Nov. 3.

Oh boy. Hi stress. How are you?

giveaway!!! and why people are awesome

Hey kids! My dearest Alishka is having a FREE GIVEAWAY!!! And we are so excited about it and hoping we win the cookies. You should go and try it too, just for kicks!

Here are 10 reasons why Alishka is awesome:
1. She is absolutely gorgeous.
2. She is a fantastic dancer.
3. She has an eye for fashion/things that are good-looking. Yay!
4. She recently started adding z's to her words sometimes (albeit rarely), like I do in my LOLCAT fits.
5. She is all cuteness. ^.~
6. She has cool taste in music.
7. She believes in giving everyone a chance to show who they really are.
8. She has a concrete ability to appreciate the beauty in life.
9. She's a teacher, yo!
10. We totally met on gchat.


And since I said I would do it and haven't yet, here is why Chilly is awesome, too!
1. She is a rocking photographer.
2. She has such a fun sense of humor! It always catches you off-guard and is hilarious.
3. She is a total hottie.
4. She likes Nightmare Before Christmas.
5. She has a keen sense of awareness as to the awkward things in life.
6. She always sends me fun forwards and links to fun blogs.
7. She has a sweet job. Or maybe not a sweet job, but a job in a sweet location.
8. She is so sneaky! I love it.
9. She always has superfun ideas of things to do.
10. We met on Facebook. Awesome.

And of course there are SO many more reasons why those two of my dear friends are awesome, but for now, 10 reasons each will suffice.

a little better

Okay. I think my mom and I sorted ourselves out.

Wow. Things can get really retarded really quickly, I think.

a

X.x;;;;;;

ARGH! My mom and I are in a bit of a tiff. She's been working herself so hard that at this point, her life expectancy were she to lose her medication is about exactly the same as my brother's. Do you know how sick that is??

So I emailed her about this, asking her to please try to slow down, and she wrote back and was all like, "Ironic that you would ask me to slow down when you're planning a wedding that's taking so much of my money."

So I told her, then freaking nix the whole thing. I don't need a reception to get married. Here is what I need: a temple recommend and a marriage license.

Dang. It's moments like these that make me wish I were brave enough to just elope with Carl secretly and not even invite my dumb parents. What. Ever.

X_X

cool dream bit

So I had this weird dream, which was very long, so I'll skip the story line. Here is what made the dream cool:

-the world was populated with a few people, but mostly these tall metal animal-people, shaped like people but with animal heads and made entirely out of shiny chrome. Also, they were 7 feet tall

-this world was also in a constant state of destruction and rebuilding. Everything was constantly barraged by whatever (stuff from the sky, etc), and the sidewalks and walls and houses would be destroyed, but instantly rebuild themselves

-I went to a hanging of a rhinoceros underwater, in a diving car

I so want to write a story about that world. Holy cow.

hmm

Hi, it's snowing. Little snowflakes are rocking out to silence next to my window. It's pretty intense. Hi, October. What have you brought us now?

So. December 31. Looking at housing prices makes me and Carl realize how insanely poor we actually are. This calls for drastic measures.

Bank robbery.

Just kidding.

I'll probably get another job sometime. If I can get a night job teaching English, I could get my Teaching Certificate before I graduate, hooray. I hear Noman Global sucks but it's close and it pays okay. Hmm.

So yeah. Weirdness.

weddings weddings

This morning Mr. Doozit and I went up to see our friends get married. It was cool. By cool, I mean about 35 degrees Fahrenheit. I was FROZEN!

I sat in the waiting room while they got sealed, and it was obnoxious how loud the waiting room was. People in Utah don't take the temple very seriously sometimes, I've concluded. I've never seen or heard so many people--even temple workers!--talking so loudly about so much random crap. Baseball, kids' grades, weekend plans... heard about 'em all. Ridiculous. It just makes me angry that people would be so irreverent in the temple. If they can't be respectful for God, could they at least be respectful of the people who want to be edified or feel the Spirit? Holee.

Anyway, it was such a powerful experience to go to the luncheon afterward. John and Lauren walked in the room, and they looked so good and gave off such good vibes I was a little shaken for a moment. And then it was shock: in 9 weeks, that'll be me and that Carl guy.

PS, kids, we moved up the date to December 31. Happy New Year! :^P

But yeah. It was crazy. I need to find a dress as hot as Lauren's was. Anyone like picking out dresses?

:^/

I miss my daddy.

exploration on my dumb liar ex-friend

She felt like a million songs.

A billion dancing notes fell in rivers through the valley of her mind, and the twisting rain of pelting sound fell with the force of falling trees.

But what is the reason? she asked, but silent, as watermusic swirled around her mind. Sunbeams would have fallen except for the night which fell instead.


For here is the question:

Where is the honesty in a broken promise?

Where is the kindness in a false word?

And where is the love in the voice of one who does not speak?


And all of a sudden the thunder became clear, as the singing stormwind raced up and down the scales of reason and of hope, intimating there were things to understand in his lies--

That even one who claimed to prize virtue and who promised he would always be there
can still be a liar.

She took a deep breath, and her inhalation stilled the music.

But she still felt like a million songs.

you don't know me, you don't know me

Ben Folds wins the award for writing the song of the day. Minus the f-bomb in there, he so describes how I feel.

I ran into my beloved Huntress today (!) for a scheduled Meeting of Discussions and Luncheon, and we reminisced about our past days of yore. And it was sad to think of how much has changed since then--but at least I have her. This song is for my old friends, with whom I am friends no longer. For the reasons outlined in this song.

Yeah. Happy Birthday.

yakkity yak

I have like a million things I feel I should write here. Oh well. Here goes:

1. I actually worked 19:15 hours this week. And talked to my boss about getting a raise. Apparently I already make as much as a student manager there, but he said we'd talk about it more on Monday because he thinks I deserve a raise, too. Hooray.

The downside of this all is that I had to wake up at 5 am every day this week, because I work opening! Whoo. Yeah. I love opening, but I also love staying up late with Carl. I think I may have to begin budgeting my time better. Alas.

2. Got a weird email from my last boyfriend yesterday. I mentioned in this group email about something else that I was engaged, just to let them know, because I figured those people would be offended if I didn't tell them. My ex wrote back with tons of bolds and exclamation points, which he's never done before, and was so quick to mention that he probably wouldn't be able to make it to the reception on account of his new semi-permanent residency in Africa. It was weird.

And I had a dream about another exboyfriend last night, in which he and I were actually friends, although he didn't like Carl. It was strange and it was strange to remember that all dreams process emotion that can't come out in real life. I guess I was processing the idea of his forgiveness? Since heaven knows he's incapable of forgiveness in real life.

3. Took engagement pictures yesterday with Alishka and Chilly! Hooray! And, of course, the Future King of the Internet. :o) It was good. I accidentally cut off a slice of my toe on the adventure, which made it extra adventurous. Alishka was a hero and asked a momlady for a bandaid; Carl was a hero and helped put the bandaid on and stop the bleeding; and Chilly was a hero because she was like me and helped calm me down. <3 <3 <3 It was intense, but all is well. My toe is bandaged now; thanks, Carl.

So, other than all of that. Took my first midterm on Friday, and now I have one or two more this week. Whoopee. My mom, Nana, and Sam are flying out to see me on Oct 29, which will be good, but it means that I have to get all my homework done and stuff before that, because we'll mostly be dress and invitation shopping. Even though I love the dress I designed, sad day. Oh well. I remember one time Abby and I went wedding dress shopping, and Abby looked SO GOOD in some of those dresses! Wow. So who knows what we will find.

Gah. I can't do Nursery with this toe. Mostly I just want to sleep. Bleh. Oh well.

long day

on campus for 16 hours

it was long

just felt like saying hi to my blog



hi blog

tuesday

Today has been ultimately strange. That's what I decided.

I got that girl onto the bus this morning. I felt so bad. She recently had hip surgery, and her wheelchair is kind of tight around the hips, and she cried when I put her in. They told me that would happen, but it was still kind of weird. Kind of hard. James doesn't cry. Like, ever. He cried once when we installed his gastric feeding tube, once when we cauterized his nose, and once while we were singing some Christmas carols (?). We couldn't figure that one out. Anyway.

So yeah. Class was fine. I learned about soil. Surprise. We learned that there is more air in the soil than there is air in the actual... you know, air. I promise that actually makes sense. O.o;;

Then I wrote my Brimhall essay and turned it in, and sent some stuff to my friend, and emailed people, and watched Carl read Moby Dick. LoL.

Well, peace

giving back

Tonight as I was chatting with a million people, I got a phone call through my uncle's phone. It was the RS 1st counselor, with a mission for me.

There's a chick in the ward who's got a daughter with CP, who needs a babysitter. I volunteered weeks ago to help. They finally called me in for training just now.

It was so funny. The lady was all like, "My daughter doesn't have normal muscle tone. Carrying her is like carrying a sack of potatoes. She's 36 pounds! I'm not sure if you can do it!"

And I was like, "You mean she has muscular dystrophy? And psh, I've carried dystrophic people twice that weight." Bazam. Actually more than twice that weight.

And so now we are best friends and I have a new stewardship. Named Chenille. I take care of her on Tuesday and potentially Thursday mornings from 7:30-9 am. Cool. She even has my brother's wheelchair. And she has a feeding tube! This is like 100% my element, guys.

You know, I'm not a super huge fan of caring for the handicapped. Like, I'm a fan of other people doing it, but I've never just woken up and been like, geez, I really wish I could go lighten the load for some handicapped guy. You know? Honestly, as a younger sibling of one, I've been a little bit scarred. But I love my brother, and I'm excited to work with Chenille. I figure, what good would it have done to take care of James my whole life and then not use that knowledge to help someone else?

Or: some people ask, what is the meaning of life? But the truly wise ask, how can I make my life more meaningful? Where is the meaning when you don't use your past trials to benefit those around you?

Plus, I realized that I don't really mind SUPER handicapped people, it's just the sort of handicapped ones that bug me. Yeah, I'm a terrible person. Every day I give thanks that James can't really walk or talk.

But anyway. It feels good to be giving back.

And now I need to make FLASHCARDS!

enlightenment

Tonight in the car I was blessed with enlightenment. PS, Idaho was good, but dusty, and I dug up and weighed like 10 million potatoes. And back to my enlightenment.

As I was dropping Carl off, I had a sudden flash of inspiration, that all the things that make my old group of friends so cool are all the things that kind of lead to why they're not married.

And I was pondering this on the way back to my house, and something hit me. It's a little difficult to explain in one go, so here.

One time, I got into this terrible car accident, and an ex-friend said that he thought I deserved it. At the time I was both horrified and delighted, and thought he was wrong. But now I know that he was right.

And here's the thing: I firmly believe that we all get exactly what we deserve. We live out our judgments in this life just as we will the next. God doesn't allow any unnecessary suffering for anyone; if you're suffering, it's because you have something to learn from it. I suffered that car accident because of the things I had to learn. And I did deserve it.

But on the other hand, I was thinking in the car, that also means that I deserve what is in my life now. Because we all deserve everything in our lives now, good and bad. I deserve it all.

It's like the great James Allen has said, nothing can come into your life except that which belongs to your soul.

It's a cool thought to think that Carl belongs to my soul, in a way. I deserve him.

On the other hand, I also deserve the homework for 19 credits of classes, and my mom being whack, and being poor, so there we go. I think it all balances out.

But anyway, so then, I realized, that once upon a time I traced how my entire relationship with Carl kind of goes back to that car. That car crash. How if I hadn't destroyed my car, I would have kept my job, which means I wouldn't have finished my first novel, which means I wouldn't have had a reason to talk to him really later--I mean, writing really brought us together, and that car accident that made me quit my job jumpstarted that for me.

And that's when it hit me: we all get exactly what we deserve every day. But all of the bad things that we once deserved but have moved on from? Those work together to bring us the best things we could ever hope for.

decision.

I'm going on the field trip. I got my homework and papers done ahead of time and will just go and party it up with my soil taxonomy pals for the pre-weekend.

...yay

OPINION POLL

Hey everyone! So, opinion question:

I'm allowed to go on a field trip this Thursday-Friday. Here are pros and cons.

PRO: I've never been farming before, and I'm sure it would be quite the adventure! How could I be a good Environmental Science major if I've never even tilled soil on a real farm?

CON: It's hard labor and it would be sweaty and gross.

PRO: It would be with some of my really good friends.

CON: It would not be with Carl.

PRO: It's a University excused absence.

CON: I would miss a test in my other Soils class, and a presentation in my English class, and the deadlines for 3 papers in 2 separate classes.

PRO: It would be working with dirt--and I really like dirt, actually.

CON: It's in Idaho.

PRO: It would give me experience.

CON: I would have to get to the parking lot at 5 in the morning.



Basically, there are lots of pros and cons. I usually make my decisions based on what I don't know. So typically, this is how it would go:

I know that if I stick around this weekend, I will check my email lots of times, I will do some homework and go to classes and chill.

I don't know what would happen if I went on this trip to Idaho.

And then I would choose Idaho because why bother living something you already know the end to?

Oh bother. I am so conflicted. Please leave your opinions below.

two thoughts

Today at church I had two thoughts.

First: recently I was accused of immaturity, on the count that I act differently with different people. This is a true fact: I act differently around Carl than I do with you, and I probably act differently with you, whoever you are, than I do with random strangers and than I do with my best girlfriends or my parents.

And I was thinking about it, and I thought of singing. In singing, it's a terrible thing if your voice stands out. You're supposed to blend with the people around you, because it makes all of you sound better. You never change the overall sound of your voice, but you lift your soft palatte differently, change the shape of your lips on a certain vowel, or change where you hold your tongue. You retain your individuality while trying to match other people, for the sake of comfort and unity of the choir and audience alike.

My other thought had to do with modern revelation. I read the preface to the Doctrine and Covenants today, and that section is intense.

The opening verses:

" 1 Hearken, O ye people of my church, saith the voice of him who dwells on high, and whose eyes are upon all men; yea, verily I say: Hearken ye people from afar; and ye that are upon the islands of the sea, listen together.
2 For verily the voice of the Lord is unto all men, and there is none to escape; and there is no eye that shall not see, neither ear that shall not hear, neither heart that shall not be penetrated.
3 And the rebellious shall be pierced with much sorrow; for their iniquities shall be spoken upon the housetops, and their secret acts shall be revealed.
4 And the voice of warning shall be unto all people, by the mouths of my disciples, whom I have chosen in these last days.
5 And they shall ago forth and none shall stay them, for I the Lord have commanded them.
6 Behold, this is mine authority, and the authority of my servants, and my preface unto the book of my commandments, which I have given them to publish unto you, O inhabitants of the earth.
7 Wherefore, fear and tremble, O ye people, for what I the Lord have decreed in them shall be fulfilled."

This is intense stuff. The rest of the section is really intense. You can read it here.

Anyway. In RS we were talking about how so many people refuse to embrace the idea of modern revelation through prophets, instead embracing revelations of the far past, for instance, in the Bible. But even in the Church we do it, reading the Book of Mormon and even the D&C and using those to replace the words of the prophet every month in the Ensign. Why? My teacher posited that it's because people are more comfortable with the words of the past--the words of God today expose all the corruption of our beliefs and our society, and most people just don't want to deal with that.

Interesting.

!!!

Carl and I are ENGAGED!!!!

He took me out to dinner at my favorite restaurant, and then we went to my favorite park, this Swedish park that was built over a hundred years ago. He gave me the love letter he owed me from when I won that reading contest, and then got down on his knee and popped the question. I cried and said yes. :o)

ps. weird ad

So sorry I have weird ads on the side of this page. I have no idea why they are featuring their particular features. O.o;

strange day

Today was so odd. Got 5 hours of sleep. Got up at 5, work at 6:30. Got off work at 10, had class from 10 to 4:30, and then worked until 7. All on less than 700 calories.

I'm a little tired, but I'm not really hungry, and I was actually happy and awake for the vast majority of the day, despite like 19304 emergencies at work.

What a strange day.

the best.

Tonight may qualify as the best night of my life so far. Not because of the things that necessarily happened, but because of how I felt.

Top Five Experiences Of My Life
1. Going ring shopping with the guy of my dreams, and coming home to talk about everything
2. First kiss with said guy
3. His birthday, with me in MD
4. Starting at BYU--i.e., escaping from MD when everyone said I couldn't do it or I shouldn't do it :o)
5. Crying with Abigail that one time

Those are at least the ones I can think of right now.

Life is so good. Just stressful. I need to go to bed... work in 6 hours!

<3

what every woman needs

I am utterly convinced that Carl is the best man in the world. Every woman needs a man like him.

The Checklist (in part)
-is strong
-can also be gentle
-has a good sense of humor
-incredibly good-looking
-a true gentleman
-is always willing to do anything to make you happier
-loves to make you smile
-is a good kisser
-likes your family
-has a cool family of his own
-makes an effort to be happy
-prioritizes you
-loves the Gospel

Basically, I am not convinced it is possible to be happier than I am right now.

Carl, you are amazing. :o)

Carl

Carl is the best person ever. He totally showed up on my doorstep with flowers last night as a surprise for my birthday.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

because i am bored and kind of upset and can think of nothing better to do

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

1. All I can say is, I'm disappointed.
2. I miss you times the world and back.
3. I don't think I could express my love for you in a non-awkward way.
4. I'm really glad that we met.
5. Sorry I always think you're annoying. I still love you.
6. If I could keep you from getting broken, I would.
7. Look, I tried, okay?
8. You are the best aunt I could ever ask for.
9. I hope you're doing okay and I wish we talked more.
10. I wish you could forgive me. :^(

Nine Things About Myself:

1. I like reading.
2. My favorite books are non-fiction.
3. I tried honeysuckle stuff at Bath and Body Works today and it was amazing.
4. I love people easily.
5. I think it's important to take care of yourself.
6. I try to practice the piano and work out every day.
7. Secretly I wish I were vegan.
8. Not secretly I wish I were a millionaire.
9. I miss Carl. A lot. All the time.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1. Kiss me on my forehead.
2. Tell me why you love me.
3. Listen to my ideas.
4. Have ideas of your own.
5. Tell me when you think I'm beautiful, or anything else good for that matter.
6. Play with my hair.
7. Give me flowers.
8. Hold me.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:

1. Carl
2. The state of the union... the actual state, not the address
3. Books I've read
4. The sad condition of the world and its inhabitants
5. Energy therapy
6. That I should finish my novels
7. That it would be supergreat to be rich

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Brush teeth
2. Ponder whether or not to put up my hair
3. Get into PJs
4. Pray
5. Arrange my pillows meticulously for optimum pillow power (?)
6. Read in my goal journal and decide how much closer I've come to achieving my goals

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
Only five? Really? It goes without saying that this list is not all-inclusive, right?

1. Carl
2. Mom
3. Weasa
4. Sam
5. I dunno. Sven/Heather perhaps

Four Things You’re Wearing Right Now:

1. Shirt
2. PJ pants
3. Contact lenses
4. Toenail polish

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):

1. "Meanwhile, Rick James" by Cake
2. "Shadow Stabbing" by Cake
3. "Brandenburg Concerto Adagio" by Bach

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:

1. Go to Africa
2. Be a famous millionaire

One Confession:

1. Despite being super politically conservative, I'm actually just about 100% new age, at least when it comes to health and medicine.

oh and a bright note

On the plus side, I had to buy smaller pants today. Also, I learned while reading Reviving Ophelia that if I had been my age in the 1950's, I so could have been a supermodel with my current body. Actually, I would have been skinnier than the average model.

That's always a pleasant thing to hear.

last day of teenagerhood

My sister is out here visiting for the week. That's cool. We've been having lots of heart to hearts. She snores. I'm so tired.


Today is my last day of teenagerhood. Whoohoo. I always looked forward to being older, but now that I'm dating a guy who doesn't care, I realize I'd sort of rather be younger. Cool achievements are awesomer when you're still a teenager.

Here, a celebration of my teenage life:

13
-went to 8th grade, dropped out and moved to Austria

14
-started high school on my birthday
-made most of my good friends from home that I still have today

15
-took a bunch of insane classes, almost killed myself (figuratively)
-was Kate in Oklahoma!
-ran the house when my mom broke her ankle

16
-graduated early
-moved to UT
-started at BYU
-started dating Bobby
-was Lady Lucille in Once Upon a Mattress

17
-lived in 3 different wards
-became RSP
-stopped dating Bobby
-became in charge of the baking at Subway
-became a TA in the HFL cooking lab
-became the lab instructor for HFL 340: family meal management
-the best summer of my life

18
-started dating Kyle
-stopped dating Kyle
-joined CRs, SID, SFA
-changed major from PoliSci to English to EnviroSci
-moved to Sherwood
-roomed with Crys (yes, this was significant)
-started my illustrious career at Intercultural Outreach
-crashed my car, Nicholas
-started dating Eric

19
-stopped dating Eric
-started dating Carl <3
-became the chair of the largest CR group in the nation
-finished my first novel
-was hired to write a political book by this political firm guy
-interned at the EPA
-started my apprenticeship with my aunt--she's going to help me set up my own practice, guys! w00t

And wow. Tomorrow I'll be 20.

weird dream, etc.

Last night I had the most bizarre dream. Arianna Huffington was making a movie about her life, and she chose me to be her costar. So we became friends on the set (?). I mentioned my plans for starting up a business, and Arianna was like, "sweet! My best friend is Paris Hilton. Let's go visit her in Cabo!" (Cabo was the setting of a movie I watched last night?) So we went down to Cabo and met with Paris Hilton, and we bonded, and she gave me all this random stuff, and then we left. And then I woke up.

It was weird.

In other news, it would feel weird not to blog about the other thing of importance in my life. Carl is getting back a week from today. I miss him so much, I can't really articulate it.

Oh, there are a million things I could say about that, but I won't. Suffice it to say, life is hard when your loved ones aren't near.

best advice ever

From a book I read yesterday (ps, I read 2 books yesterday):

Write down the time and content of everything you eat on a daily basis for a week. This will make you more conscious of just how much you eat every day. When you see it written down in black and white, you will clearly understand why you are not at your target weight.

LOL. Best and truest advice I've ever heard. At least as far as weight management.

back in UT

Hey kids, I'm back!

W00t.

Well, anyway, life is really good, and I hope you're all doing well. Love!

ew

I have this blood blister on my toe that takes up like 1/4 of my toe.

It's so gross, guys.

well.

I always hate it when other people don't update their blogs, and I just realized I'm becoming one of them!

Yipes!

As you can see, what was once an OK GO-themed blog has evolved into a Venus Hum-themed blog. Birds and Fishes is one of the best songs ever, just FYI.

Things have been quite bizarre lately. I've been moving, ending jobs, getting new jobs, trying to sort out my life, writing, reading, studying, pondering.

My brother is doing really poorly. He's had these problems before--bladder failure, eyes going in different directions and rolling back in his head, more seizures than usual, etc., but he's never looked the way he does now. Usually when he's sick he just looks... like, you know, he hates being sick. He's a pretty happy guy most of the time, even when he's on the brink of death.

But for the past three days he just has looked so miserable. He looks actively angry, sad, upset. I've never seen those faces on him before for such a long time. Frustration, yes, but not this sort of prolonged misery.

Honestly, it's disturbed our whole family. I actually am supposed to call and tell my grandparents about it because my actual parents can't psychologically handle explaining it when they still have responsibilities at work.

Meh. So life's kind of weird. I listen to ABBA a lot, although I saw Mamma Mia! the other day and it sucked. One of the few things in my life that have actually changed my life for the worse, LoL. Oh well.

My newest novel is coming along pleasantly, I may get to live at my aunt's house for the school year, and I get to see my Secret Lover and my True Love of Romantic Ballads in just a little while. I can so make it.

on the farm

The pond was clear.
Frogs and fish and
Sunlight dancing on the raft
Where we all floated
Content to let the light kiss our shoulders and
The breeze do our hair

And the butterflies came
To sing to us and land
On our feet
And remind us that even when
Merciless Time calls

We are still laughing at the pond
Somewhere in eternity

Sixteen Tons.... no kidding

Some people say a man is made outta mud.
A poor man's made outta muscle and blood.
Muscle and blood, skin and bones;
A mind that's weak and a back that's strong.

You load sixteen tons an' what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
St Peter don't you call me I cause can't go:
I owe my soul to the company store.

Well, if you see me comin', better step aside.
A lotta men didn't; a lotta men died.
One fist of iron, the other of steel.
If the right one don't get you, then the left one will.

You load sixteen tons an' what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
St Peter don't you call me I cause can't go:
I owe my soul to the company store.

random poem?

Love
Like the greensilver branches of the willow tree
That always grew where the water pulsed through the soft earth
Branches shading the wetland grass in lines like windowshades

Drinking in the sunlight of a little girl's laugh
Taking in the breath that only comes from song
And when the hurricane comes and winds grow strong
Roots are stronger,
Sylvan fingers reach into the depths of Life itself
Holding onto all that Love is

Because storms may tear the branches that stretch
And the trunk that winds

But trees can grow back after the storm
With the right roots

oh noes

H and I just pulled our own for realz all-nighter. Like, we've been up talking all night, and in 20 minutes I have to get on the Metro back to work. Not a wink of sleep since yesterday, and on Friday night we did the same thing.

This is highly unwise. Good thing I'll be getting back to my apartment tonight... I need the sleep.

happy

A lot of things have been going on right now for me. I haven't updated here in a while so I just thought I would say that.

I dunno. There are a zillion things I've had to think about lately, and while it has the potential to be really stressful, it is amazingly not that way at all. I wonder if that's how life is supposed to be all the time: natural and simple and obvious, and filled with people you love and people who love you. When I think about today, and the past few days, I just have to remember that scripture in 2 Nephi: Men are that they might have joy. In a way, even though all I really did today was write and think, I feel I have expressed my purpose to the fullest.

Oh man, guys. I am so deep... :^P

5

The Five Tag

5 years ago: I was going to be a sophomore in high school. Spent a lot of time babysitting.

5 Months Ago: Started dating the future King of the Internet

5 Things on my to-do list

1. Finish The Price We Pay for Paradise
2. Read Fleeced
3. Pack for Oregon!
4. Paint my nails
5. Uh...

5 Snacks I enjoy:
1. Tortilla chips with fresh limes and guacamole and salsa
2. Salads
3. Peppers
4. Strawberries!
5. Cheetos, apparently

5 Things I would do if I were suddenly a billionaire:
1. Buy the house of my dreams
2. Pay off my parents' house
3. Buy my own recording studio to put in my basement
4. Finish paying for my education
5. Donate to... the Chaffetz campaign

5 of my BAD habits:
1. Biting my cuticles
2. Hating on liberals all the time
3. Forgetting to put on bandaids over my blisters when I walk to work
4. Spending time at work chillin on ThePeoplesCube
5. Taking stupid surveys like this instead of finishing things on my to-do list

5 Places I have lived:
1. East Village, MD
2. Whetstone, MD
3. Wien, Osterreich
4. Provo, UT
5. Washington, DC

5 Jobs I have had:
1. SPCC Specialist
2. Campaign Strategist
3. Senior Baker
4. EPA Grant Manager
5. Lab Instructor for HFL 340

5 things people don't know about me:
1. I can't stand pickled beets
2. I have a minor obsession with alternative medicine
3. I spend about 2 hours a week in bookstores, just perusing
4. I am allergic to adhesive, mildew, and hydrocodone
5. I just bought the cutest dress ever!

let's dance to joy division

Everything seems kind of surreal right now.



Magritte painted of the treachery of image. How do we even know that the entire world isn't some sort of treacherous image? What if it all turned out that everything you had trusted was there was really just all in your mind?





There are so many things to think about.


Go ask for Joy Division,
And celebrate the irony,
Everything is going wrong,
But we're so happy,
Let's dance to joy division,
And raise our glass to the ceiling,
'Cos this could all go so wrong,
But we're so happy,
So happy.

Have ye not known? Ye shall have a song.

Have ye not known?
Have ye not heard?
Hath it not been told to you from the beginning?
Have ye not understood from the foundation of the earth?
Ye shall have a song, as in the night when a holy solemnity is kept--
Ye shall have a song, and gladness of heart,
As when one goeth with a pipe,
To come into the mountain of the Lord.





Sometimes only songs are good enough.

missing choir :o(

I was trying to find this amazing rendition of Cantate Domino I sang once with my chamber choir. It was in 7/8 and half in English and just the most beautiful, bizarre, crazy hymn in the world. It starts out with just the men, and then there's just the women, and then they all join together in this really fast chanting, changing keys like there's no tomorrow, and there's this amazing swell in the middle that just has the sopranos and altos sliding all the way up the scale and then back down again, going from loud and high to soft and low and still all this chanting. The end starts quietly and then with every beat gets louder and louder until before you know it, the end is fortississimo and your ears are just drowning in sound.

But anyway, I found this rendition of a completely different Cantate Domino, and while it is SO not as exciting as my one, it's good.



Another high school favorite:

An All-State favorite:

And another:

And another, except I could only find it solo version instead of like 10 parts (this one is from Evening Primrose, my favorite musical that I've never seen, where this girl is stuck in a department store, doomed to be the slave to these living manikins and they won't let her out):

brother

Came home on Friday, played with Sam and Heather until 2 am, just like the olden days. Left early the next morning and spent the weekend in NYC. Saw a movie. Babysat. My cousins are cute.

Came home, was asked to feed my brother. There was so much blood running out of a burn adjacent to his stomach I couldn't do it. Couldn't even see the original wound. We bandaged it but there's nothing we can do about it.

I just wonder how that is happening. Is the acid burning through everything to the point where it's just that the membrane is so thin blood can just seep out through his skin? When will it be such that he can't hold a tube in at all and his guts just flow out? What could anyone even do about it?

The medical world has never seen this before.

I went to this link I found on wikipedia, and it was really depressing.

velveteen rabbit

I would give all my sins just to be with you
to look into your soul
and see what makes you go

:^/

I was in the kitchen today while my mom was doing the laundry.

She lifted up one of James' shirts. The part that covers his tube was covered in blood.

The past few days, we've kept the area bandaged but it doesn't seem to help. Actually, it only ever gets worse.

And I just have to wonder: how long can that last?

hair cut

Got my hair cut. It's not exactly what I was wanting, but whatever. She straightened it.

It was funny because the whole time she was like in awe of how healthy my hair is. Well, duh. Here is the trick: only shampoo your roots, and only do it once every 2-4 days. Condition the rest every day. Never brush it, never straighten it, and never dye it. Counter-intuitive, yes. But these are the tricks that will make your hair healthy and beautiful.

So then she shampooed the whole thing and brushed it and straightened it, and also blow dried it. All my no-nos. Oh well. The nice thing about straight hair is that you can run your fingers through it.

my fortune cookie

"Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned."

I've decided, I always get the most interesting fortune cookies. O.o;

song of today

PS, The guy's lying--it's not a John Meyer song, it's a Herbie Hancock song.

I like the real version with words and everything, but you've got to admit the jazz version is beyond amazing.

100th post

Lots of my friends have 100th posts that are exciting, with surveys and memories and whatever. My 100th post happens to come at a time when I'm just not up for that.

Happy 100th post, guys.

Recently I've been feeling like I ought to take the LSAT, and maybe go to law school. It's messy. Here is who officially does or does not want me to go:

1. My friend Jess, who suggested it. She thinks I'd be good at it.
2. My N&G. They also think I'd be good at it, and according to Nana they've always wanted their granddaughter to be a lawyer (?).
3. My brother Sam. He is upset because if I go to law school, when he goes to law school later it will look like he is copying me. This is silly because I should be just about done with law school by the time he gets off his mission, which means he'll still have 4 years of college before he can go.

Anyway, so that's been really weird for me. I've never even considered it before. Kind of like how I never considered graduating early from high school, either. Maybe this is a pattern: I should just sit down and pick all the things in my life I never considered choosing for myself, and then just choose them now and get that all out of the way. This is how my EnviroSci major worked too, you know. Never even considered it, and then wazam, it was suddenly something I couldn't get out of my head.

I read my PB today. It was more intense than I remembered it being. Crazy.

Also, I'm sick and slept through class today. Incidentally. I looked up my symptoms in my roommate's holistic homeopathic healing book, and apparently they all come back to not accepting the future. Stupid law school. I have no idea what's going on.

?

Me: Do you know what I decided I wish?
Mom: Yes. No. What.
Me: That John Galt actually existed. I would go live in his Gulch.
Sam: John Gult? What are you talking about?
Dad: Galt. John Galt.
Sam: Who is John Galt?



...who is John Galt?

dream

Most intense dream, guys.

For some reason I'm going to this train station that tends to resurface in my dreams--I have no idea where it is, or if it actually exists. So I'm going to my magical train station, and I get off at this one stop that keeps wavering between realities. One second it's there, the other second it's not.

At this stop there's a boat that gives tours of the lagoon. I get on one and go for it. We stop at the island in the middle of the lagoon.

While I'm wandering around, I run into this guy. He asks me if we could trade talismans. Apparently in my dream, your talisman is like your spirit. Being dumb, I'm like, "okay," and we trade. It's like soul-bonding. So then we're bonded. This guy's like, "One sec, I'll bring us the mirror."

I don't remember the significance of the mirror. It was important for some sort of ceremony.

So I wander to the water's edge, to look down. The water is very clear--or so I think. Just as the guy who now owns my soul reappears with an octagon-shaped mirror, a sea witch comes up and out of the water, grabs me by the hair, and pulls me into the lagoon! The guy with the mirror comes up and he can't put the mirror down, so it gets really complicated as he tries to save me from this sea witch and he can't put the mirror down. The sea witch breaks the mirror, and then everything goes blank.

But then I wake up, in the middle of this swamp. I know it's not too far from the beautiful lagoon, but I can't find a way out. So I wander in the swamp forever. Something happens eventually--I remember it was exciting but not exactly what it was.

So then I'm at my apartment above one of the train stations on my brain's personal heavy rail. I and two friends are planning to go to Space Mountain--like in Disney World. Except, they just changed Space Mountain, so it costs $15,000 a ride and it's like a space torpedo you go up in and then parachute out from.

The torpedo is about to leave, so I run up to meet someone at the front entrance to the apartment complex/station, and we're waiting for the others. Finally everyone gets there, so we run madly to the torpedo and get in.

It's good until they shoot us out. I end up alone in the middle of this frozen tundra. But there is my dude, with the talisman! I still have his. So I'm running to him to give his talisman back and ask for mine, and this giant shiny dragon thing comes out of nowhere and picks me up. The dragon thing and I end up in the middle of an ocean. For some reason if any talismans hit this water, the person whose they are dies. So I'm trying to protect this guy's talisman from the water, and the dragon keeps dipping me in as he flies.

Fortunately, Talisman Guy shows up on a gryphon and starts beating this dragon, but then when the dragon gets hurt he drops me. So I fall into the water, and Talisman Guy is like, oh no, and jumps off the gryphon to save me. Alas, the water is poisoned and both our talismans get wet. So we die.

BUT THEN we wake up in the frozen tundra we both were just in, and realize that something is important, because we're both still alive, and we trade our talismans back, and all is not quite well, but at least we lived.

THE END

law school?

Was just talking to one of my BC friends. It was the first time we'd really talked. After a while talking about random whatever, she asked--totally out of the blue--if I'd ever considered law school.

To which I replied, of course, no way, José. Except her name was Jessica.

But then she went on and explained why I and law school are made for each other. And everything she said made a lot of sense. And it was just funny because she was making all her judgments of me based on like, talking with me for half an hour and observing me verbally spar with my fascist professor in class. I've only done that once (so far).

So I was pondering. I think I might have to look into it...

O.o;;

yes.

203 pages

Carl and I are having a contest to see who can read the most this summer. I'm not updating the corner count until I finish books, though. It gets too confusing otherwise.

Yesterday I read an article for work, on Moses and leadership. If I were super obnoxious, I could try suing for the lack of separation of church and state, but whatever. It was a great article. It really shed some light on some important questions I've heard asked over and over again about the book of Exodus.

No, really.

Like, why the Israelites had to be in the wilderness for 40 years. This guy approaches it all from a leadership view and talks about how it's a story that applies to everyone who wants to lead.

Okay, so anyway. I've also been reading a book called "Founding Mothers," about the women behind the men of our revolution. It's amazing. I feel such a kinship with some of them. It's really making me think about what role I want to have in the upcoming events of our turbulent world.

There are a number of quotations in the book about what made the war possible, and the article on Moses also clarified that point. Moses could have prevented the plagues. He could have stood up and stopped the Pharaoh's cruelty to the Israelites, but he didn't. He made the risky move of letting them suffer. But why?

The writer of the essay avers that it was all to make sure the Israelites knew the truth about their situation. It had to get dark before dawn, or else they wouldn't appreciate it. This sentiment is echoed many times in my revolution book.

And overall, I'm trying to figure out stuff. I sit here and look at our world, and it's all so connected to me. All of the issues share their roots, and at every turn it is obvious that we are entangled in an awful situation. And so I fight to change that.

But I've realized that the average American idiot just doesn't get it. And until they get it, we're screwed.

Working at the EPA has shown me how deeply rooted in fascism the agency is. Contrary to popular belief, it's hurting the environment more than helping. And the average American can do something about it. Did you know that the Atomic Energy Commission was dissolved as a direct result of civilian outrage? If we pulled another set of shenanigans like that, we wouldn't have to deal with fascist ecomaniacs sticking their faces into every project anyone wants to do. While it's true that the AEC was shortly replaced by the NRC, if people had stood up to that also, it wouldn't have happened. Probably.

But the problem is that people now forget their amazing ability to control this world. We're willing to let things like the EPA and the NRC exist, completely unconstitutionally, because, hey: if the government doesn't regulate nuclear energy, who will?

But let's look at something else: the fire code.

There is no national fire code.

The two main fire codes adhered to by every municipal fire department in the nation come from the International Code Council and the National Fire Prevention Association. They are commercially sold. There is no national regulation on this. Fire chiefs can basically do what they want.

And you know what? They all have fire codes. And I doubt you would buy a house if you knew it fell within the jurisdiction of a fire department with no functional code.

During the War for American Independence, our women changed the course of history with their by becoming selective buyers--through their boycotts of English products. And it worked. The idiotic need Americans perceive for government comes from a lack of understanding of their own power. The consumer controls the world.

But on the other hand, I believe there is a strong case that Americans will never again understand their situation, because Americans are no longer voracious readers, as they were in revolutionary times, nor are they particularly skilled in the art of thinking, as shown by the mindless worship of B. Hussein Obama.

Basically... we're doomed

random

1. What was the highlight of your week?
Being with my boyfriend.

2. Whose car were you in last?
my dad's

3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?
i don't know :^(

4. What color shirt are you wearing?
Black

5. How long is your hair?
Curly, a few inches below my shoulders. Straight, almost to my elbows

6. Are you good looking?
I think so

7. Last movie you watched?
The Interpreter

8. Who were you with when you watched it?
the future king of the internet

9. Last thing you ate?
Mambas

10. Last thing you drank?
Water

11. When was the last time you had your heart broken?
1.5 years ago, about

12. Who came over last?
L

13. Are you happy right now?
I could probably stand to be happier

14. What did you say last?
"Have fun"

15. Where is your phone?
In my purse

16. What color are your eyes?
Green

17. Are you left-handed?
No

18. Spell your name without vowels:
Ll Lsbth Wngr

19. Do you have any pets?
Two cats and a fish

20. Favorite Vacation?
Anything, with the right people

21. Who do you dislike currently?
I won't say :o)

22. What are you listening to?
Silence

23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
hm

24. What is your favorite color?
Green

25. Who makes you happiest?
my best friend

26. What were you doing at midnight last night?
teaching yoga

27. When is your birthday?
Aug 27

28. Who has the same phone as you?
I don't know

29. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
I don't remember

30. Do you read your horoscope?
no

31. Where was the last place you bought something?
A bookstore

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
I wish it were dry

33. Do you bite your nails?
no

34. Do you have a best friend(s)?
yes.

35. Have you ever drank?
no

36. Myspace or facebook?
Facebook

37. How fast have you driven a car?
~90 mph?

38. Have you ever smoked?
no

39. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
Music/English/Government

40. Do you have Verizon?
No

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
usually, apparently lame ones. This time, I've done better :o)

42. Do you have any hidden talents?
perhaps :^P

43. Favorite Song?
My favorite song ever, always, is and has been Eye Conqueror by 3eb. Best song.

44. Do you like to sing at all?
My first job was as a singer, at the LoC. I charged $500 for 1/2 hour. :^D

45. Dream Job?
Writer/musician/campaign strategist?

46. Where does most of your family live?
Extended family is located in UT

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
one older, two younger

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
no

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
CRAP (I was late for work)

50. What shoes are you wearing?
none

51. Know any other languages?
nur ein bißchen, solamente un poquito

52. Ever write a coded message?
Yes

53. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
No, hooray--although I was asked to once as I recall

54. Do you have any children?
nope

55. Did you take a nap today?
yeah, from 8 am to 9:45 am apparently

56. Who has the same birthday as you?
My friend Emily from Austria

57. Ever meet anyone famous?
My family is good friends with the Supreme Allied Commander of NATO. My first employer, who hired me to sing at the Library of Congress, was the old ex-vice president of Presidente Peron, of Evita fame

58. Do you want to be famous one day?

59. Any Pet Peeves?
people walking slowly, people being dumb, people not thinking before they say things, people who don't read, poor grammar in official stuff, and eco-fanatics

60. Are you multitasking right now?
i guess

61. Do you like Britany Spears?
I have some songs of hers that I like, I won't lie

62. What is your least favorite chore?
Vacuuming. I'd rather scrub things

63. Last place you drove your car?
to my uncle's house

64. Ever been out of the country?
several times

65. Where were you born?
Shady Grove MD

66. Could you handle being in the military?
probably

68. Who are you thinking about right now?
a professional quoter of Casablanca

69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
last night at canasta

70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
a lot. I guess about 20 pairs here at the apt, and several more at home and in UT

71. Are your toes always painted?
of course. Unpainted toenails are tacky.

72. How many piercings do you have?
just your typical. I don't really wear earrings though.

73. What are you doing today?
writing in my journal and going to sleep

74. Have you ever been gambling?
uh, actually, yes. With my dad? O.o;

75. When was the last time you updated your blog?
I don't know

76. Do you like roller coasters?
yes

77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world?
Both, bazam.

78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
DR. BENTON QUEST

79. Last thing you cooked?
don't remember

80. How's the weather?
It's been so stormy no one's had power

81. Do you e-mail?
what? email? What's that?

82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
let my dad get me a Sprint phone

83. Last time you were sick?
I don't remember. I don't really get sick that much?

84. What states have you lived in?
MD and UT. And I've also lived in Austria.

85. Do you wish you could move?
partially

86. Finish the sentence. Today is...
tiring and kind of sad

87. What is your dream car?
a sparkly VW beetle

88. Have you ever wanted someone you can't have?
yeah

89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
NYC

90. Are you happy with your life?
on the whole