an ongoing funeral post

Hey guys, so the funeral's in a few hours. This side of the family is so fantastic, I feel I need to chronicle the event a little.

So, this morning over breakfast my great grandmother was interrogating me about my dating life. Toward the end, she sighed. "Well, I hope you fall in love with a man from Idaho," she said. "They always have so much money. That's what you want."

"Ah," I said.

"And anyway, you would love Idaho," she said.

Somehow I don't think she knows me very well. I smiled and nodded.

Yesterday she came up to me as I was chillin on her couch. "Well, with all these deaths in the family, you might as well just move in," she said. "And who knows? If we keep up this trend, maybe I'll be next! Ooh! Wouldn't that be lovely?!"

"Yes, Grandma," I said. Great Grandma Jo has a death wish--literally.

So... the viewing yesterday was a little unnerving. My aunt was 58 and DS--her hair was not grey at all. In my head she always had grey hair. But I guess she never did. Developmental defects will do that to ya. Anyway. The viewing. Here's who was there: me, my sister, my mommy, my Nana and Grampy, and then my other aunt and her husband. For an hour and a half. How sad is that.

And then my mom is speaking at the funeral. I hope I don't have a funeral, and no funeral speeches. Or at least, if I must have one, I hope people are honest about me. I hate funerals because there's always so much lying.

Or maybe I'm just a cynical witch, whatever. Someone should mention that at my funeral. :^D

Also: the luncheon after the graveside is being hosted by my lesbian cousins. How domestic of them, ey? So yeah. I'll update this post when I can next.

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AFTER THE FUNERAL

Well kids, it turned out to be okay. One of the speakers spoke for about ten years, approximately. Longest half hour of my life. The graveside was pretty and we saw my brother's plot. The luncheon afterward was actually decent.

I was slightly disappointed. All the anticipation and the terror was for nothing.

Clearly I am still just a young blogger padawan. I must be educated in the ways of living my life by blogging potential.