idiosyncrasy

So, I have a number of really weird quirks. Here are some of them.

1. I am allergic to adhesive tape. All of it.

2. I am also allergic to mildew.

3. I can't handle it when shower curtains are randomly closed. Like, when you walk in the bathroom and no one else is in there and the curtain is closed. Why? Because obviously there is probably a dead person on the other side that someone stuck there to hide them while they soak in flesh-dissolving acid. Ew.

4. I have this weird paranoia when it comes to my eyes. Why? Because probably at any given moment some projectile--a pencil, maybe, or some sort of eating utensil--could just fly at my face and land in my eye! And then I would be BLIND! How traumatizing!

5. I really have troubles when people look at me too much. Really, it creeps me out. Okay, that was kind of a lie--I don't mind it when men look at me, actually I kind of enjoy knowing that I am a distracting woman, but when other girls look at me too much, I really get freaked out. This is especially amplified when I can tell that the person staring is doing so to figure out what I am thinking--when obviously all I am thinking about is how creepy they are when they are staring.

6. I HATE it when I go to a comedy or something, or am watching a funny TV show with insecure people who always look over at me to see if I'm laughing at something funny. Look, it really doesn't matter what we all find funny. You just go ahead and laugh at whatever you want, and please don't look over at me while you do it, because I find that creepy. Look at someone else in the room if you must have your sense of humor validated by other people who have no idea how your mind works and therefore have no authority to tell you what you should find funny. Whatever.

7. When I get nervous or excited I shake my hands around in the air.

8. I can make my eyebrows twitch really really fast.