last day of teenagerhood

My sister is out here visiting for the week. That's cool. We've been having lots of heart to hearts. She snores. I'm so tired.


Today is my last day of teenagerhood. Whoohoo. I always looked forward to being older, but now that I'm dating a guy who doesn't care, I realize I'd sort of rather be younger. Cool achievements are awesomer when you're still a teenager.

Here, a celebration of my teenage life:

13
-went to 8th grade, dropped out and moved to Austria

14
-started high school on my birthday
-made most of my good friends from home that I still have today

15
-took a bunch of insane classes, almost killed myself (figuratively)
-was Kate in Oklahoma!
-ran the house when my mom broke her ankle

16
-graduated early
-moved to UT
-started at BYU
-started dating Bobby
-was Lady Lucille in Once Upon a Mattress

17
-lived in 3 different wards
-became RSP
-stopped dating Bobby
-became in charge of the baking at Subway
-became a TA in the HFL cooking lab
-became the lab instructor for HFL 340: family meal management
-the best summer of my life

18
-started dating Kyle
-stopped dating Kyle
-joined CRs, SID, SFA
-changed major from PoliSci to English to EnviroSci
-moved to Sherwood
-roomed with Crys (yes, this was significant)
-started my illustrious career at Intercultural Outreach
-crashed my car, Nicholas
-started dating Eric

19
-stopped dating Eric
-started dating Carl <3
-became the chair of the largest CR group in the nation
-finished my first novel
-was hired to write a political book by this political firm guy
-interned at the EPA
-started my apprenticeship with my aunt--she's going to help me set up my own practice, guys! w00t

And wow. Tomorrow I'll be 20.

weird dream, etc.

Last night I had the most bizarre dream. Arianna Huffington was making a movie about her life, and she chose me to be her costar. So we became friends on the set (?). I mentioned my plans for starting up a business, and Arianna was like, "sweet! My best friend is Paris Hilton. Let's go visit her in Cabo!" (Cabo was the setting of a movie I watched last night?) So we went down to Cabo and met with Paris Hilton, and we bonded, and she gave me all this random stuff, and then we left. And then I woke up.

It was weird.

In other news, it would feel weird not to blog about the other thing of importance in my life. Carl is getting back a week from today. I miss him so much, I can't really articulate it.

Oh, there are a million things I could say about that, but I won't. Suffice it to say, life is hard when your loved ones aren't near.

best advice ever

From a book I read yesterday (ps, I read 2 books yesterday):

Write down the time and content of everything you eat on a daily basis for a week. This will make you more conscious of just how much you eat every day. When you see it written down in black and white, you will clearly understand why you are not at your target weight.

LOL. Best and truest advice I've ever heard. At least as far as weight management.

back in UT

Hey kids, I'm back!

W00t.

Well, anyway, life is really good, and I hope you're all doing well. Love!

ew

I have this blood blister on my toe that takes up like 1/4 of my toe.

It's so gross, guys.

well.

I always hate it when other people don't update their blogs, and I just realized I'm becoming one of them!

Yipes!

As you can see, what was once an OK GO-themed blog has evolved into a Venus Hum-themed blog. Birds and Fishes is one of the best songs ever, just FYI.

Things have been quite bizarre lately. I've been moving, ending jobs, getting new jobs, trying to sort out my life, writing, reading, studying, pondering.

My brother is doing really poorly. He's had these problems before--bladder failure, eyes going in different directions and rolling back in his head, more seizures than usual, etc., but he's never looked the way he does now. Usually when he's sick he just looks... like, you know, he hates being sick. He's a pretty happy guy most of the time, even when he's on the brink of death.

But for the past three days he just has looked so miserable. He looks actively angry, sad, upset. I've never seen those faces on him before for such a long time. Frustration, yes, but not this sort of prolonged misery.

Honestly, it's disturbed our whole family. I actually am supposed to call and tell my grandparents about it because my actual parents can't psychologically handle explaining it when they still have responsibilities at work.

Meh. So life's kind of weird. I listen to ABBA a lot, although I saw Mamma Mia! the other day and it sucked. One of the few things in my life that have actually changed my life for the worse, LoL. Oh well.

My newest novel is coming along pleasantly, I may get to live at my aunt's house for the school year, and I get to see my Secret Lover and my True Love of Romantic Ballads in just a little while. I can so make it.

on the farm

The pond was clear.
Frogs and fish and
Sunlight dancing on the raft
Where we all floated
Content to let the light kiss our shoulders and
The breeze do our hair

And the butterflies came
To sing to us and land
On our feet
And remind us that even when
Merciless Time calls

We are still laughing at the pond
Somewhere in eternity