what is going on?

So, I'm pretty much really confused.

Something is going on and I have no control in it at all.

I made it up through the final final interview for TFA, and they turned me down. Then, well-- well--

My professor asked me to come and meet with him about the grad school position I applied for. So I went. He had me sit down, and told me that I didn't get in--but the reason he wanted to tell me this in person was because of what a great candidate I was. Of all the applicants, I and the girl selected were the top two. They debated for a long time over who would get the position. In the end, the one deciding factor was the other girl's experience with sage or something. Dr. G told me that the next time he had a project come up, he would email me. And he told me that my "packet" was impressive enough that I should be able to get in anywhere that I would ever want to.

And he told me that even though I didn't take the GRE, my academic achievements were significant enough that he was 100% positive I would have scores "above and beyond" what would be necessary for anyone's program.

I was really excited at the time that he would think that of me--and now I'm a little confused. Now what do I do? No TFA, no grad school for me or Carl, no plan, no nothing.

Oh, and here is a funny tale. I got my Civ paper back, and I had an original A on the paper, and then the TA scratched it out and gave me a B because it "wasn't unique." So I had my actual teacher reread it, and he gave it an A+ and had only great things to say about it, and actually offered me the TA position for next year over it. Even though I didn't even read the book I wrote the paper on, I just read a lot of Wikipedia and used the index to find quotes. But he really liked my paper.

So, I don't know. My professors have always been really impressed with me, which has been nice, but... I mean, I have no idea what's going on. If I were really that cool, I would probably have figured out what to do with myself for after graduation.

Wtf.