Carl

Carl is the best person ever. He totally showed up on my doorstep with flowers last night as a surprise for my birthday.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

because i am bored and kind of upset and can think of nothing better to do

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:

1. All I can say is, I'm disappointed.
2. I miss you times the world and back.
3. I don't think I could express my love for you in a non-awkward way.
4. I'm really glad that we met.
5. Sorry I always think you're annoying. I still love you.
6. If I could keep you from getting broken, I would.
7. Look, I tried, okay?
8. You are the best aunt I could ever ask for.
9. I hope you're doing okay and I wish we talked more.
10. I wish you could forgive me. :^(

Nine Things About Myself:

1. I like reading.
2. My favorite books are non-fiction.
3. I tried honeysuckle stuff at Bath and Body Works today and it was amazing.
4. I love people easily.
5. I think it's important to take care of yourself.
6. I try to practice the piano and work out every day.
7. Secretly I wish I were vegan.
8. Not secretly I wish I were a millionaire.
9. I miss Carl. A lot. All the time.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1. Kiss me on my forehead.
2. Tell me why you love me.
3. Listen to my ideas.
4. Have ideas of your own.
5. Tell me when you think I'm beautiful, or anything else good for that matter.
6. Play with my hair.
7. Give me flowers.
8. Hold me.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:

1. Carl
2. The state of the union... the actual state, not the address
3. Books I've read
4. The sad condition of the world and its inhabitants
5. Energy therapy
6. That I should finish my novels
7. That it would be supergreat to be rich

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:

1. Brush teeth
2. Ponder whether or not to put up my hair
3. Get into PJs
4. Pray
5. Arrange my pillows meticulously for optimum pillow power (?)
6. Read in my goal journal and decide how much closer I've come to achieving my goals

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
Only five? Really? It goes without saying that this list is not all-inclusive, right?

1. Carl
2. Mom
3. Weasa
4. Sam
5. I dunno. Sven/Heather perhaps

Four Things You’re Wearing Right Now:

1. Shirt
2. PJ pants
3. Contact lenses
4. Toenail polish

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):

1. "Meanwhile, Rick James" by Cake
2. "Shadow Stabbing" by Cake
3. "Brandenburg Concerto Adagio" by Bach

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:

1. Go to Africa
2. Be a famous millionaire

One Confession:

1. Despite being super politically conservative, I'm actually just about 100% new age, at least when it comes to health and medicine.

oh and a bright note

On the plus side, I had to buy smaller pants today. Also, I learned while reading Reviving Ophelia that if I had been my age in the 1950's, I so could have been a supermodel with my current body. Actually, I would have been skinnier than the average model.

That's always a pleasant thing to hear.

last day of teenagerhood

My sister is out here visiting for the week. That's cool. We've been having lots of heart to hearts. She snores. I'm so tired.


Today is my last day of teenagerhood. Whoohoo. I always looked forward to being older, but now that I'm dating a guy who doesn't care, I realize I'd sort of rather be younger. Cool achievements are awesomer when you're still a teenager.

Here, a celebration of my teenage life:

13
-went to 8th grade, dropped out and moved to Austria

14
-started high school on my birthday
-made most of my good friends from home that I still have today

15
-took a bunch of insane classes, almost killed myself (figuratively)
-was Kate in Oklahoma!
-ran the house when my mom broke her ankle

16
-graduated early
-moved to UT
-started at BYU
-started dating Bobby
-was Lady Lucille in Once Upon a Mattress

17
-lived in 3 different wards
-became RSP
-stopped dating Bobby
-became in charge of the baking at Subway
-became a TA in the HFL cooking lab
-became the lab instructor for HFL 340: family meal management
-the best summer of my life

18
-started dating Kyle
-stopped dating Kyle
-joined CRs, SID, SFA
-changed major from PoliSci to English to EnviroSci
-moved to Sherwood
-roomed with Crys (yes, this was significant)
-started my illustrious career at Intercultural Outreach
-crashed my car, Nicholas
-started dating Eric

19
-stopped dating Eric
-started dating Carl <3
-became the chair of the largest CR group in the nation
-finished my first novel
-was hired to write a political book by this political firm guy
-interned at the EPA
-started my apprenticeship with my aunt--she's going to help me set up my own practice, guys! w00t

And wow. Tomorrow I'll be 20.

weird dream, etc.

Last night I had the most bizarre dream. Arianna Huffington was making a movie about her life, and she chose me to be her costar. So we became friends on the set (?). I mentioned my plans for starting up a business, and Arianna was like, "sweet! My best friend is Paris Hilton. Let's go visit her in Cabo!" (Cabo was the setting of a movie I watched last night?) So we went down to Cabo and met with Paris Hilton, and we bonded, and she gave me all this random stuff, and then we left. And then I woke up.

It was weird.

In other news, it would feel weird not to blog about the other thing of importance in my life. Carl is getting back a week from today. I miss him so much, I can't really articulate it.

Oh, there are a million things I could say about that, but I won't. Suffice it to say, life is hard when your loved ones aren't near.

best advice ever

From a book I read yesterday (ps, I read 2 books yesterday):

Write down the time and content of everything you eat on a daily basis for a week. This will make you more conscious of just how much you eat every day. When you see it written down in black and white, you will clearly understand why you are not at your target weight.

LOL. Best and truest advice I've ever heard. At least as far as weight management.

back in UT

Hey kids, I'm back!

W00t.

Well, anyway, life is really good, and I hope you're all doing well. Love!

ew

I have this blood blister on my toe that takes up like 1/4 of my toe.

It's so gross, guys.

well.

I always hate it when other people don't update their blogs, and I just realized I'm becoming one of them!

Yipes!

As you can see, what was once an OK GO-themed blog has evolved into a Venus Hum-themed blog. Birds and Fishes is one of the best songs ever, just FYI.

Things have been quite bizarre lately. I've been moving, ending jobs, getting new jobs, trying to sort out my life, writing, reading, studying, pondering.

My brother is doing really poorly. He's had these problems before--bladder failure, eyes going in different directions and rolling back in his head, more seizures than usual, etc., but he's never looked the way he does now. Usually when he's sick he just looks... like, you know, he hates being sick. He's a pretty happy guy most of the time, even when he's on the brink of death.

But for the past three days he just has looked so miserable. He looks actively angry, sad, upset. I've never seen those faces on him before for such a long time. Frustration, yes, but not this sort of prolonged misery.

Honestly, it's disturbed our whole family. I actually am supposed to call and tell my grandparents about it because my actual parents can't psychologically handle explaining it when they still have responsibilities at work.

Meh. So life's kind of weird. I listen to ABBA a lot, although I saw Mamma Mia! the other day and it sucked. One of the few things in my life that have actually changed my life for the worse, LoL. Oh well.

My newest novel is coming along pleasantly, I may get to live at my aunt's house for the school year, and I get to see my Secret Lover and my True Love of Romantic Ballads in just a little while. I can so make it.