the creepiest thing. ever.

I've been meaning to blog this for over a week, but here goes.

My friends, sometimes creepy things happen. And I am about to tell you about one of those times.

Carl and I got back from MD about two full weeks ago. It was all jolly and good, of course, until we did the laundry.

Now, I will admit, I am a little obsessive compulsive about my laundry. Essentially EVERYTHING gets hung up on hangers and put in the closet, with the exception of, basically, socks. But, I can't just have my clothes on any old hanger: no, all hangers must be either plastic or crocheted over, because otherwise they leave those little hangermarks in the shoulders, you know? And those always make my heart frowny. :^[

So we were putting away the laundry, and I was hanging things up, and then, from out of my closet comes--



THE UGLIEST GREEN CROCHETED OVER HANGER IN THE WORLD!!!

At first I just furrowed my brow. "Carl, where did this come from?" I asked. I assumed it was a present or something. Sometimes people make those for me because they know of my OCD ways with that sort of thing.

Carl didn't know.

The hanger was old. It was looking a little raggedy, for sure. And so distinctive: bright green with a poufiness of random yarn coming off the intersection of all the wires. Kind of dirty. Obviously, this hanger had been places.

And Carl had never seen it before.

And neither had I.

And we'd just been out of town for a week.

When I was in Austria, I went to Girls' Camp with the stake there. I had my own personal translator and everything, LoL. But the girls tried to speak in English for me and the other internationals. And one night, they told this story that kept me awake at night for years, about a girl who didn't know that a cannibal was sleeping under her bed.

Luckily, we don't have a bedframe, so our mattress is right on the ground--crocheting cannibals was my first thought. I was glad to see that the culprit could not be sleeping under my bed.

The more I thought about this hanger, the more creeped out I became. It's not like you can exactly forget a hanger like that. I'm not sure it's even possible to forget a hanger like that, with its stringy, dirtied green yarn. Hiding in your closet, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

And here's the thing: I cleaned out every closet when we moved in, myself. It wasn't that long ago. And I'm obsessed with using the correct hangers for all my clothes. I KNOW I would have noticed something like that.

And yet, it was hiding out in my clothes like it had always been there.

True or false: there are only a few ways for certain items to end up in certain places. Yes, I suppose according to the Heisenberg Principle there is some sort of chance that the hanger randomly materialized in between my dress pants and my T-shirt collection. But I also suppose it's a little more likely that someone put that hanger there--which, in a decent world, only Carl or I would be putting hangers there. But if neither of us put that hanger there... then how did it get there??

Oh wow. Just writing about that hanger is creeping me out all over again.

If you have a theory about how the crap such a creepy hanger got to be in my closet, you can post it in the comments. Because seriously, I can only think of two options (materialization, and crocheting cannibals).