BLOG IT OUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!

STRESSFUL EVENING!!!!

First, missed dinner in favor of SID meeting. Was all right with that because SID is worth it, and there was food there. Unfortunately, was not able to get any food. Ran away to other meeting, which lasted several hours. Came home to dessert night to find other people had eaten all my food. They are officially fired.

Made a Wendy's run with Edward. Came home to find they had not put my sandwich in the bag. Had not eaten since... 2. Was now 11:45. At 2 I only ate two little Keebler elf cookies or whatever. So it didn't really count.

I think I may be fairly fearsome on no food late at night, having been wronged by evil Wendy's workers.

Well, TAKE THAT, WENDY!!!!! I am BLOGGING ABOUT HOW TERRIBLE YOU ARE!!!

::deep breaths::

I had to go back, this time with Mary, and managed to be civil long enough to get my sandwich. They gave me two Frosties as a consolation. I don't even like Frosties. And anyway, they were probably the two Frosties they forgot to give the last people.

Wendy's, you are fired. Holy schneikos.

long term, short term

I've been pondering lately the meaning of life. Surprise! But really, the other day I found the most amazing book. I've read it a number of times through and forced my roommies to do the same. Basically it's a collection of life strategies, all focused on success in the long term.

And what I've noticed is that when I focus on the long term, some of my short term things die. Really, it sucks. I've lost a lot of short term things I had counted on in favor of the long term.

And I never really realized how so many things in the long term are compromised by my stupid short term decisions. I know that every move I make--or do not make, depending--is for the best, because it is ensuring my eventual happiness. And yet, in the meantime, it kind of is not that fun.

It takes a lot of faith, I guess, when I look at it that way. The hardest part right now is realizing that I no longer have much interest in the long term my book was discussing, and I really do miss short term stuff. And yet, now everytime I don't invest in my future project, I feel so freaking guilty I can barely handle myself. How lame is that.

So basically, guys, when you start feeling your drive to save the world, just remember that yes, it will require sacrifice, and yes, it will suck. Just hopefully it will be worth it.

productivity

Today was productive. Here is what I did.

- woke up (yes, this counts as something productive. it was probably the hardest part of the day)
- shower!
- scriptures!
- breakfast
- met with my boss/major advisor/research mentor and discussed work/graduation/research (he said I can get credit for publishing the paper when we're done--Advanced Writing credit, I mean--and he wants me to present the paper with him in DC in June!)
- visited a class about IAS 353R. They clapped for me at the end of my presentation, oddly. It was sweet
- went to work, for once
- watched Devotional
- visited BYUSA about starting a new secret club, ohoho
- drove my roommate to her voice lesson
- read 200 pages of Atlas Shrugged
- went to dinner
- planned the next eternity of BYUCR stuff
- found my new internship for the summer
- went grocery shopping
- ate like seven otter pops

and yeah. I feel like the most productive woman on earth. Rock.

do or do not. there is no try.

I feel it necessary to blog quickly about dating. And more specifically, about asking people out.

In the days when I used to ask men to go with me to my various everythings, I definitely studied up, and spent some quality time philosophizing on the subject. And now, as a more or less frequent dater, I have come to accept a set of expectations when a person asks me out. And these are my conclusions, shared with the world because apparently the world struggles at times.

1. When asking a person out, you MUST do it live. By this I mean, they must be with you in person, or else live on the other end of the phone line (though in person is preferable). Emails, facebook messages, text messages, voicemails, snailmails, telegrams, Morse code, carrier pigeons, blog comments, and other means of communication are not acceptable. Ever. The logic behind this: some people don't check their email, their facebook, their voicemail. It's stupid to ask someone out and not even know when they'll get to finding your message. But even more than that, it's just rude. Leaving everything in a message is a way of foisting the responsibility for organizing the date onto the other person--and who here wants to date a person who would do that? Come on guys, haven't you ever seen Kate and Leopold?

2. When asking a person out, you MUST have a plan. It is never permissible to call a person up without having thought through the date first. To qualify as a plan, a date must have a time, a place, a date (in the time sense), and an activity. When you ask the person, the correct format is as follows: "Hey [insert name of hottie here], I was wondering if you would be interested in going with me on Friday night at 8 pm to Movies 8 to see Stardust?" Switch the exact wording as you please, but be sure that all elements are included. The logic behind this : first, nothing is more attractive than a man with a plan. Second, it's just polite to ask that way. The person you are asking then has all the details before them right from the getgo, and that's the way it should be.

3. When asking a person out, you MUST give them advance notice. Fewer than three twenty-four hour days is completely unacceptable. This, I feel, is self-explanatory: everyone has a life and it's rude to assume that they do not.

4. When asking a person out, you MUST receive confirmation of the date before going any further. Never assume that no response is a yes. No response is exactly what it sounds like: no response. Call back multiple times if that's what it takes to receive verbal confirmation of the date. Call the night before the date to confirm that everything is still all right. It's just the wise thing to do.

5. When asking a person out, you MUST do it with confidence. It doesn't always matter what you say as much as it matters how you say it. In my personal experience, I've not-dated a number of men I actually thought were decent, only because they seemed like pansies when they were asking me out. Nothing screams "UNATTRACTIVE!" like a man who appears to expect rejection. Why would any girl want to go out with a man who expects to be rejected? What does that say about him? And what would it say about the girl if she dated him?

I think that covers most of the basics. Essentially, what this all comes down to is respect, for others and for yourself. It's really that simple.

Amen.

death sentence.

This article was in the New York Times today.

Mrs. Brewster and her son have had a long history of torture and murder. And yet, after the son murdering his father and Mrs. Brewster murdering her old roommate, each of them only got a few years in jail. Six years in jail for the murder of an 84-year-old woman. It makes me sick.

But our government has stopped believing in justice. We have rejected God in government but embraced the idea of forgiveness in our courts, and look where it's gotten us. Look where it's gotten that poor tortured woman. Removing the plain and precious things takes its toll, doesn't it.

And how fitting that the people should pay for the folly of government. After all, we elected the idiots who restructured the American idea of justice.

The whole thing just impresses it upon me further: each of us who feels that stirring of the soul, each of us who has awoken from that terrible slumber, must come forth and take a stand.

Remember, guys, there is no room for apathy or willful ignorance. Revelation 3:15-16. And yeah guys, that's God talking there.

anniversary

I think most people have forgotten the significance of this day. I woke up and didn't feel different. Nothing was different. I was thinking about what to blog about and then it hit me: this is September 11.

The world was different six years ago.

I was in middle school at the time. Weird, huh? My real middle school was being renovated, so we were bused down to a place called Tilden, which is coincidentally across the street from the Pentagon.

I just remember feeling... empty. Like how it felt in that car accident, right after the impact. That feeling of, everything is falling apart, and oh well. Guess you just have to go through the motions.

There was smoke in the air. The teachers were trying not to panic. All of my friends had their parents come and pick them up. I was just there, alone. Not really scared, just empty. I knew nothing would happen to me. But it was still so odd.

And then to see the aftermath... the streets full of frightened people on the day of. Then the emergence of Code Reds and Code Blues and all that jazz. I remember when my mother had to get this guy to move his car because it had been parked in the same place on the side of the road for six months.

He had died in the Pentagon that day.

He had no one to move his car.

I always read through the Book of Mormon and the Bible and wondered how people could forget so quickly. How does one forget something like that?

And yet, here we are, forgetting... Sad.

busy

I think it's starting to hit me today that my life is busy.

I didn't do my homework before the weekend, or my work for my actual jobs. It didn't occur to me that on Mondays I have straight class from 9-6, no lies. No breaks. I'm writing from Ling 473. So I had to wake up super early to get everything done on time.

Then this week, things are insane. With College Republicans alone I have ten million things to do, and then my one friend is getting married on Friday and I have to buy her stuff and go to the reception, and then I have to publish this one thing for Intercultural Outreach, and life is busy. All that, of course, is on top of my research and 15 credits.

I was talking to one of my friends about fun. He and I are dead set on changing the world, but we approach it in different ways. He says, he needs to change the world and so he's going to lock himself in his room and do homework all the time. I say, if I go crazy, what good will that do to the world? Parties keep me sane. Music keeps me sane. Dating keeps me sane. I enjoy those things. Therefore, they are worth it to me and to the world. What good am I to anyone if I'm not happy enough to keep working? And also, I have discovered something he has not discovered: that it's not what you know, but who you know that counts. Parties and social events are where you get to know people. And it's networks that change the world. It's the connectors that change the world.

At the same time, there's definitely a price to be paid for sociality when it comes to saving the world and building a name for yourself. The biggest question is: is it worth it?

I guess it depends on the person.